I know what I want....
I want that one moment that will put a smile on my face for days, I want that one thing that let's me know I belong. I want to know where to go and have the surefooted-ness to take the first steps. I want you. I want to be in your arms, by your side, in the same place as you, never to be separated due to someone else's rules. I want to make my own choices, mistakes, and memories. I want to be with you when I go to sleep, and with you when I wake up. I don't want to have to spend the days thinking about you, the evenings thinking about you, and the nights teary eyed behind close doors keeping myself pulled together. I want to know you're coming home to me, I want to think about you. I don't want to think about when the next time i get to see you is; I want to KNOW it's tonight, everynight. I don't want to just be able to talk to you on the phone, I don't want to have to be disappointed when I miss your call because I fell asleep. I don't want to cook for just myself anymore. I don't want to just do MY laundry. I don't want to just clean MY room. I don't want to pretend anymore... I want it all be real; all the day dreams, thoughts, fantasies, all the one days, maybe's, and soon's, I want them all and i want them now...
Selfish i know.
Now, before you go and get the wrong idea; I am not obsessed and I am most certainly NOT pushing anything. I am however simply writing what I'm feeling/thinking. This is a subject that is on my mind more than I would like to admit. I just though that writing it down, putting it out there might help me make some sense of it all. No alternative motives, no hints being dropped, just honesty....
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