What's been on my mind.... Honesty

I know what I want....

I want that one moment that will put a smile on my face for days, I want that one thing that let's me know I belong. I want to know where to go and have the surefooted-ness to take the first steps. I want you. I want to be in your arms, by your side, in the same place as you, never to be separated due to someone else's rules. I want to make my own choices, mistakes, and memories. I want to be with you when I go to sleep, and with you when I wake up. I don't want to have to spend the days thinking about you, the evenings thinking about you, and the nights teary eyed behind close doors keeping myself pulled together. I want to know you're coming home to me, I want to think about you. I don't want to think about when the next time i get to see you is; I want to KNOW it's tonight, everynight. I don't want to just be able to talk to you on the phone, I don't want to have to be disappointed when I miss your call because I fell asleep. I don't want to cook for just myself anymore. I don't want to just do MY laundry. I don't want to just clean MY room. I don't want to pretend anymore... I want it all be real; all the day dreams, thoughts, fantasies, all the one days, maybe's, and soon's, I want them all and i want them now...

Selfish i know.
Now, before you go and get the wrong idea; I am not obsessed and I am most certainly NOT pushing anything. I am however simply writing what I'm feeling/thinking. This is a subject that is on my mind more than I would like to admit. I just though that writing it down, putting it out there might help me make some sense of it all. No alternative motives, no hints being dropped, just honesty....

Thank You

Some may say that I am one lucky girl, but the truth is luck’s got nothing to do with it! It has everything to do with the fact that I pray and give every situation over to God because I know only he can make something good out of this mess I call life. Over the past couple weeks I have had a really rough time. I have learned that I have surrounded myself with some pretty awesome people. Without them there’s no way that I could have gotten through any of this. A special thank you to a few people.  First thank you to my parents who let me make my own mistakes and thank you for being there when I failed. Also, thank you to my best friend for being there to listen to me and give me the advice I needed to hear. Last, but most certainly not least thank you to me amazing boyfriend. Thank you for staying on the phone with me for hours just so I wouldn’t go crazy and so that I could sleep. Thank you for supporting me through the entire thing. Thank you for caring about me and never giving up on me even when I was super crabby! You were a HUGE (bigger than you know) part in getting me through this! Thank you to everyone who was supporting me and praying for me! It means more to me than you may ever know.